Kira's Birth Story

She's here! In fact, she's been here for three weeks now. I have found myself staring at the computer screen time and time again, searching for the perfect words to capture Kira’s birth story. With each passing day the experience becomes dreamier, and I find myself mentally sugar-coating the knitty-gritty, painful laboring moments. So, I am going to force myself to just write what I remember. Perhaps the perfect words will come someday, but for now these words will have to do.

Kira Lynae

8-7-2011

8 pounds 7 ounces

20 inches long

Mommy's Account:

When I reflect on Kira’s birth, I feel the need to back up quite a few days. It’s hard to really know where to start, because I felt as if she would come “any day” for weeks, literally. Perhaps it was even a month. I’ve got my optimistic moments, what can I say?

So, I’ll begin her story on August 4, when I was one day overdue. My midwife was on vacation and so my appointment that week was with the on-call midwife. The midwife that I had been seeing for all of my prenatal care was kind, gentle, encouraging, and positive. I absolutely loved her. However, I knew that she was going to be on vacation the week I was due and so I knew that there was a possibility she wouldn’t be around for the delivery of our baby. Perhaps the hope of her being there for Kira’s delivery helped get me through each overdue day.

My appointment was actually supposed to be on my due date, but had been postponed due to a laboring mom. I was so jealous of that stranger! The reason I mention my appointment bump was because I had daycare arranged for my original appointment time. So, when I actually got to go in I had to bring Quinn with me. He had been to an appointment before and did great, and so I didn’t think much of this. However, due to all of the previous days cancellations, they were running an hour behind. This hour wait was torture for Quinn, and by the time we actually got into the appointment he was wailing. I could barely hear anything the midwife had to say, and all I could think about was just making sure the baby was okay and getting out of there. So during my cervical check when she asked me if I wanted my membranes stripped I hardly had time to make a rational decision. I simply asked her if that was what she recommended, and when she said yes, I said “sure”. I had been reluctant up to that point to have any sort of intervention, but in this moment, with Quinn screaming in the background, all I cared about was getting through the appointment and getting my tired boy home. She told me that in theory, the membrane stripping should put me in labor within 72 hours. However, just in case they scheduled an ultrasound to check my fluid levels and a non-stress-test for the baby for the following week and told me that if everything continued to look healthy that they would let me go two more weeks without any medical intervention.

I wasn’t even out of the waiting room before I felt severe cramping (which I knew was a side-effect of the membrane stripping) and by the time I got to the car I was in tears from the pain (my hormones at this point in the pregnancy probably contributed to the tears as well). I couldn’t fathom parenting Quinn alone in that state, and any time that Pat took off from work was unpaid and so I really didn’t want to have to rely on him yet. Luckily Quinn was exhausted and we literally napped in bed for the rest of the afternoon. The cramping didn’t really subside until much later that evening, but by the next day I felt like a million bucks.

In fact, I woke up feeling better than I’d felt in weeks and I remember telling myself to just try and enjoy the reprieve. Heather happened to be in town for a few hours that morning, but we hadn’t made any specific plans because I was SURE I’d have Kira by then and would therefore be unavailable. HA! So, I set my stubbornness aside and gave her a call and we met up for some window-shopping and coffee. It was great to catch up with her a little and it took my mind off of wishing that my body would go into labor. That afternoon Quinn and I napped together (this had become a daily routine my last month of pregnancy), and that evening Ryan flew into town for a friend’s bachelor party. This was another perfect distraction. He and Megan stopped by that evening to say hello. At some point Ryan decided that he was going to forego the bachelor party, and he and Megan made it their mission to ensure that Kira would be born that weekend. Megan is a nurse and was consulting with her labor and delivery nursing friends. They were recommending a plethora of “natural” induction methods, from exercises to drinking herbal teas and castor oil, and many more that I didn’t even pay attention to. I was willing to try the exercises and drink some teas, but castor oil was not going to happen! The last thing that I wanted was to put myself in labor due to being sick from castor oil. Anyway, they left Friday evening and planned to return on Saturday with tea in hand and to hang out and enjoy some quality time with Quinn.

Saturday I woke up feeling great again, and Pat and I had a perfect day with Quinn, not knowing that this would be our last day as a family of three. We spent relaxing family time together playing in the morning, took a family nap together in the afternoon, and then headed to a Mexican fiesta at one of Pat’s coworker’s houses that evening. The food was delicious, the company was refreshing, and Quinn was in heaven playing in a fenced backyard with the kindest Husky I’ve ever met, (perhaps the only Husky, but this dog was awesome). One of Megan’s labor inducing schemes involved spicy food and so I ate up completely guilt free at this fiesta! I enjoyed the spicy homemade guacamole and salsas, hoping that the delicious food might just do the trick! If not, it was still delicious. We left the party early so we could spend time with Ryan and Megan. Unfortunately, we didn’t leave early enough for them to get to spend time with Quinn. They’d just have to come back Sunday for that. As soon as we got home we put Quinn to bed and then Ryan and Megan arrived shortly after. I quickly got a pot of water boiling and alternated between two different teas that they had brought over. I probably had about five cups over the course of the evening. We spent the evening playing cards and eating a variety of indulgent desserts that they had spoiled us with. I am trying to remember if I felt any pain during cards, and I really don’t think so. Card games are very distracting for me, though, so it’s hard to be sure. I think that I may have had some cramping off and on, but nothing noteworthy.

My midwives had told me time and time again to try and not even pay attention to contractions until I had to breathe through them. Like most women, I had been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and so this was their way of encouraging me to simply ignore those. I don’t even recall having Braxton Hicks contractions that evening, though. Around 11:00 I remember thinking that I should probably try and get some sleep because I knew that I’d need to be up with Quinn early the next morning. So, Ryan and Megan left around 11:15, and I clearly remember feeling a contraction as I hugged my brother goodbye. I didn’t say anything though; because it was something I had been accustomed to feeling for months. I got ready for bed and tried to get some sleep, but the contractions kept coming. Nothing hurt though. I remember lying in bed and noticing that the contractions weren’t going away, but they still didn’t really hurt and I definitely didn’t have to breathe through any pain. At 12:30, a little more than an hour after I felt my first contraction, curiosity got the best of me and I told Pat that I wanted to time them, just for fun. He discouraged me from timing the contractions and urged me to just try and get some sleep, but I was insistent. I had certainly never noticed my contractions lasting for more than an hour before, and they seemed to be getting a little longer and closer together. At this point I sent my brother a text message and told him that I had been feeling contractions (even though they weren’t painful) for about an hour. As Pat and I timed the contractions we realized that they were about three minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 40 seconds to a little over a minute. Within 15 minutes of timing, the contractions became painful and I was starting to gently breathe through them. I got out of bed to see if I could walk through the contractions, and quickly realized that I couldn’t walk or talk through the contractions any longer. This was no more than thirty minutes after wanting to simply time the contractions “for fun”.

Pat consulted our labor paperwork and decided that he should call the hospital directly at this point. The nurses asked if we wanted to come right in or if we wanted to have our midwife call us first. I wanted to try and labor at home as much as possible and so talking to the midwife seemed like the best option. Within five minutes the on-call midwife that I had seen earlier that week called and I had several contractions during our short conversation. I had only been breathing through contractions for about thirty minutes at this point though, and so we both assumed I had a ways to go. She directed me to get in the tub and drink plenty of water and see if that caused the contractions to slow down and the pain to subside. I followed her instructions and found absolutely no relief in the water! Most women love it; I am not one of those women, though. I was in pain, and told Pat that I had never experienced that much pain while laboring with Quinn. I had already requested an epidural by that point and I was ready to get to the hospital and get an epidural this time around too. So, Pat called Ryan and Megan, and they turned around and came back to stay at our place with Quinn. My pain escalated so quickly at that point, I remember trying to put myself in a variety of positions to figure out how I could make myself feel more comfortable. I leaned on Pat, I got on all fours, I moaned, I got on my side; nothing made me feel better. I had to just focus on getting through one contraction at a time. It hurt! While all of this was happening, Pat was alternating between running around the house to make sure that we had everything set for our guests and hospital stay (changing sheets that I had pre-washed, getting the car loaded, packing my toiletries for the hospital, calling my family, cleaning the kitchen, and who knows what else) and supporting me through my frequent and painful contractions. He was a rock star and even though he was frantically running around, I remember him being there for me during most of my contractions. I’m not sure how he managed that, but he did.

Ryan and Megan arrived within thirty minutes of us calling them, and this is where the story gets a little blurry for me. I had my eyes closed most of the time, trying to just focus on getting through the pain. Somehow Pat managed to get me to the car over the course of a few contractions. I remember driving through the parking lot of our apartment complex and every speed bump was torture. I begged Pat to drive slowly, and all he wanted to do was get me to the hospital. I squeezed his hand and screamed through every contraction in the car. It was like a scene from a movie. I was ridiculously dramatic and Pat was just focused on getting me to the hospital as quickly as humanly possible. At one point I even recall him saying, “Just don’t push!” When we got on the freeway it was 2am and I had only been in painful labor for about an hour at this point. It makes me feel like a wimp when I put the story in words, but like I said, it hurt!

We arrived to the hospital at about 2:15am, and I urged Pat to just park near the ER and let them wheel me to labor and delivery. So that is what he did. Unfortunately, this being our second baby and everything, we didn’t do things as thoroughly as we had with Quinn. We hadn’t had a hospital tour, and if we had, we would have learned that the ER is on the complete opposite side of the hospital. If we could do it again I wouldn't do it any differently though. I knew that I just needed to get inside and let the medical personnel take care of me. Them racing me through the hidden corridors of the hospital didn’t affect me much. My eyes were still closed, after all.

We arrived to labor and delivery around 2:25am, and they took me straight to triage. I remember begging at this point that they just get me somewhere so an epidural could be administered. I figured I had hours left of labor and I knew I didn’t want to go through any more of it in the amount of pain that I had been experiencing. They ignored my urgent request and told me that they needed to check and see what was going on. As the triage nurse checked my cervix, apparently she just shook her head. Pat assumed that it meant I had a long ways to go, and that I was overly dramatic or something. ☺ But, apparently the head shaking meant “we need to get this girl to a delivery room stat because she is crowning”. They told me that I was “complete, but in tact”. I couldn’t believe my ears so I kept urging them to tell me exactly what that meant. They just repeated the words, “complete, but in tact”. This meant that my cervix was fully dilated but my water hadn’t broken yet. I asked if they could just get me an epidural first, and I clearly remember my nurse never telling me “no”. She just said, “You’re going to have a baby! You’re going to have a baby!”

As soon as I hit the delivery room, the urge to push hit me. A storm of nurses rushed in, and the midwife made it as well (she was already in the hospital). It’s true that pushing helps take your mind off of the pain. It still hurt, but at least I knew that my prize was around the corner (I was hoping it would be less than an hour since that had been my experience with Quinn). With one of my first pushes I pushed my water right out. I do not envy the messes that those nurses have to deal with. Yuck!

I vividly remember getting three good pushes with each contraction, and three contractions later my beautiful baby girl was in my arms. That’s about 9 pushes total. Not too bad. In fact, we were later told that Kira was born 14 minutes after I first entered the labor and delivery floor. Everything went so quickly; I’m still in shock thinking about it. I also learned that they had another woman deliver 17 minutes (or something like that) after entering labor and delivery that evening, and five births that night were all medication free. I don’t get a lot of credit for my medication-free birth since I spent a good portion of my laboring time begging for medication, but I did it and I’m so proud now!

The rush of emotion that I experienced when they put Kira on my chest is a blur. I remember being in a state of utter happiness, crying, “Is it really a girl?” and they told me that they hadn’t even checked yet. At that point they checked, and then I knew I could speak to her by name. I just cried and laughed and felt the purest joy that I have ever experienced in my life, but at the same time I still felt immense pain. I hugged and kissed my daughter, and simply marveled at how my capacity to love immediately expanded. I was now a mother of two. Life was perfect.

The worst of labor was over, but it wasn’t over yet. I still had to deliver the placenta, which required some pushing, and I was exhausted. When we look back at pictures we realize that Kira was completely blue at this time, but I didn’t notice this at all. All I saw was perfection. However, the natural mothering instinct of putting baby on chest, skin-to-skin, and nursing did not hit me. I remember a nurse asking if I wanted to put baby skin-to-skin, and I appreciated her reminding me because that was exactly what I would want to do. I was numb from excitement and exhaustion.

Kira did not latch on immediately, and so I just held her as my midwife stitched me up and as nurses massaged my uterus. I remember just wanting to be left alone to love my brand new baby, but I knew that they were doing what needed to be done. However, I do remember asking if they could just wait. Pat tells me that I acted like a child, telling the nurses “You are hurting me” and “I don’t like this”. It was the middle of the night and I was exhausted. With Quinn I felt some pain during pushing, but the epidural was enough that I didn’t notice any after delivery pain. The uterine massages didn’t bother me, and I barely noticed delivering the placenta. With Kira, this was almost the most unbearable part because I already had my prize and so there was no more reward for the pain.

As I reflect on Kira’s birth I feel indescribable gratitude. I wouldn’t change a thing about her birth. Playing cards with some of my favorite people before she arrived, going into spontaneous labor at home, progressing quickly, rushing to the hospital, parking in the worst possible location, racing through the hospital corridors in a wheel chair, begging for an epidural and being (silently) denied, and most importantly, delivering a beautiful and healthy baby girl. Who knows what caused me to go into labor. Was it was the membrane stripping, the spicy food, herbal teas, a combination of everything, or just pure coincidence? And, who cares! It was an exhilarating and unforgettable experience.

Just born. Yes, the photo is blurry but it shows her bluish head a bit (Pat says the blur is perfect representation to how it felt at the time).

I barely slept at the hospital because all I wanted to do was stare at our newest creation.

You can see the hair on the back of her head a little here. I also love how Will was able to capture the pure joy and contentment that I felt during this time.

Pride and happiness

We love you Kira Lynae and thank God for bringing you into our lives. I look forward to what the future holds for our family with you in it and watching your life unfold!

Stay tuned for Daddy's account. When we tell her story we realize our perspectives are a bit different and would like to capture our individual memories to share with Kira one day.